July 25, 2021

TOPAFRICANEWS Rwanda

Ikinyamakuru cy'abanyarwanda n'inshuti zabo

Dore Imyaka myiza Umuhungu cyangwa Umukobwa akwiye gushingiraho Urugo. Iyi myaka iragutera kubyibazaho!

5 min read

Ku bijyanye no kubaka n’imyaka, hariho amahame abiri akomeye ku bagabo n’abagore.

Abagabo bakunze kubwirwa gutegereza kurushinga kugeza igihe bumva biteguye – kugeza bakuze, bafite umutekano mu bukungu, bashinze mubikorwa byabo kandi bumva ko Ubuzima buboroheye nabo ubwabo.

Umushashatsi yaranditse ngo “Umugabo wanjye bwite yagiriwe inama n’ababyeyi be bombi kutihutira gushyingirwa kugeza afite imyaka 35. Izo nama zabo yarazubahirije ndetse anarenzaho arongora afite imyaka 40. Nyuma yaje kwishimira icyemezo yafashe avuga yagifatanye Ubunyangamugayo kuko yarakuze”.

Abahanga bavuga ko Ibi bituma abagabo bagira igihe kinini cyo gushishoza no kubona umufasha ukwiye. Ariko abagore bo ntibajya babona amahirwe mu gushishoza nka bagenzi babo b’igitsinagabo.

Kureba Filime n’ibiganiro bagirana n’abagore bagenzi bashatse mbere bakiri abana ndetse no gukunda kureba amafilimi arimo abakobwa n’abahungu bakiri bato baba bari mu Rukundo rwa filimi bituma muribo bumva bafi ikintu kibasunika ngo nabo bagire urukundo nkurwo bakunda kureba mu mafilimi. Umukobwa wageze ku myaka 30 we ahita yumva byarangiye ariko muri iyi nkuru turaza kureba abayirengeje bakabona gushaka nuko ingo zabo zabaye.

Ubundi ku mukobwa, iyo ageze ku myaka 20 ibyo kwihangana byo ntaba akibikozwa noneho iyo ageze ku myaka 30 ahita yiyumvisha ko amahirwe yo gushaka yakendereye.

Ubundi umuntu niwe ugira ahazaza he mu biganza bye.

Umwanditsi w’Iyi nkuru twabasomeye ku Kinyamakuru TIME, uwayanditse agira ati “Hanyuma nahuye n’umugabo mu birometero ibihumbi uvuye mu rugo duhuriye mu bwato mu nyanja ya Pasifika nkaba narindi mu rugendo rw’akazi mu birwa bya Galapagos.”

Akomeza agira ati “Nyuma y’amezi atatu yaje kunsaba ko twabana kuko yari yanshimye nyama njye nibwiraga ko nkuze byarangiye, maze dushyingiranwa ku myaka 35 y’amavuko.”

Ifoto yakuwe luri Internet

Ati “Ubu turashimira Imana y’abashakanye! Byukuri. Dore ikintu nakuyemo: Abagore bubatse nyuma y’imyaka 35 bashobora cyane kugira urugo rwiza kuruta abagore bubatse ingo bari mu myaka 20. Buri wese yifuza kwirwa yishimye buri munsi”

Kabone niyo waba ufite iyo myaka mike ariko burya abahanga bavuga ko ushakanye n’Umuntu ukuze kuri icyo kigero cy’imyaka yo hejuru ntakabuza ugira urugo rw’Umunezero.

Ese wa mugani ubundi sibyo? Wabonye he umwana ashakana n’umwana?

Umwanditsi akomeza agira ati “Benshi mu nshuti zanjye bwite bashakanye bafite imyaka 28. Hatarenze imyaka icumi, kimwe cya kabiri cyabo baratandukanye. Abahanga mu mibanire y’ingo bemeza ko ubwenge bwo kuyobora no kugira urugo rwiza bigendana n’imyaka.”

Ati: “Nyuma y’Imyaka runaka, abagore bakunda kugira urwego rwo hejuru rwo gukura mu marangamutima kandi bakagira igihe kinini cyo gusuzuma uwo muzabana. ” Ibi bivugwa na Dr. Peter Pearson, washinze ikigo cya Couples Institute, aho yagize ati: “Iyo ushatse ukuze urigenga cyane, uranezerwa, ntukena cyane. Ushobora kwihanganira amarangamutima yo kutumvikana mu rugo, mbese uba ufite ubwenge bwo gutandukanya Ururo n’icyatsi.”

Umwe mu bagore yagize ati “Natinyaga gutandukana n’umufasha wanjye. Naje gutegereza igihe kirekire nitonze kugira ngonzagire amaherezo meza Mu byukuri, nari mfite ubwoba bwinshi ku buryo namaze umwaka wa mbere w’ubukwe bwanjye nsaba impanuro ziturutse hirya no hino kugirango menye uko urugo rwacu rutasenyuka. Nyuma yo kubaza abagore babarirwa mu magana hirya no hino ku migabane itanu mu bihugu 20 bijyanye n’uburyo bwo gushyiraho no gukomeza ubufatanye bushimishije, rimwe mu “mabanga” namenye ni iri: Tegereza.

Abashakanye bakuze biyemeza kuba abaja b’urugo rwabo

“Inshuro zirindwi ku icumi, igihe nabazaga umugore mubashakanye utishimye icyaba cyaratumye ubumwe bwe n’umugabo burushaho gukomera, yansubije agira ati: “Iyo mbimenya nkabaho ubuzima burebure mbere y’uko nshyingirwa.”

Ubushakashatsi bwagagaraje ko abashyingiranwe bakuze guhera ku myaka 35 cyangwa irenga bo mu bihugu  bya Isiraheli, Ubufaransa, Ubuhinde, Qatar, Danemarke, Suwede, Ubuholandi, Mexico, Chili ndetse no hanze yabyo bagize ingo nziza kuko babonye umwanya wo kubanza kwiyitaho  ku buryo nta numwe wicuza igihe cyashije ahubwo ngo usanga biyita “abaja bashaje” bivuze ko babonye umwanya wo kugira abaja none nabo bakaba barahisemo kwibera abaja bashaje b’ingo zabo.

Akomeza agira ati “I Dehli, Kolkata na Guwahati, mu Buhinde, nahuye n’abagore batifuje gushyingirwa ku myaka 20.”

“ Biyemeje gushyingirwa bafite imyaka 30 bumva ko nta bwoba bafite bw’imbere hazaza. Itandukaniro ryonyine, bambwiye, ni imyaka. Bumvaga bafite icyizere kandi bafite umutekano muri bo. Uburambe bw’ubuzima bagize hagati yimyaka 30 bwatumye barushaho kworoherwa no guhagarara imbere yabagabo babo bumva neza ko bangana ntawusumba undi, bambwiye ko ibi byatumye bumva banyuzwe n’umubano mu ngo zabo”.

Akomeza agira ati “I Paris mu Bufaransa, nabajije abagore cumi na babiri, bose bambwira ko bafite igitekerezo cy’uko abagore benshi b’Abanyamerika bihutira gushyingirwa mbere yuko bitegura, kubera ko bashaka gushinga urugo. “Kuki mutinya kuba nk’abagore b’Abanyamerika?” umutegarugori umwe wujuje imyaka nk’iyo twagaragaje ruguru yagize ati: “None ntitugomba gufata umwanya wo kubanza tukimenya tukamenya n’icyo dushoboye tukabona gushyira ubuzima bwacu mubwundi?”

Umuhanga mu by’amateka Stephanie Coontz, umwanditsi w’Ubukwe, Amateka n’Uburyo tutigeze tubaho, abona iterambere imyaka y’ubukure iganisha ku kunyurwa kw’abashakanye.

Coontz yansobanuriye ati: “Kera mu myaka ya za 1960, abantu bashoboraga gushyingirwa bakiri bato kandi bikagenda neza kuko nta kintu nta gito umugore yakoraga uretse kwihatira kumenyera no gushimisha umugabo umugabo we.”

 Ati: “Uyu munsi, dushyingiranwa twitezweho byinshi – ubucuti, inyungu zo ku mpande zombi, gushaka kwigira kuri buri wese mbese buri wese ashaka kureshya n’undi.”

 Yongeyeho ati: “ Ibi byose twifuza ni ibintu bijyana n’Ubumenyi, gukura mu mutwe, kwigira no kwihagararaho binyuze mu mwuga wawe. Kera washyingiranywe ni bwo buryo watangiye gukura, ariko vuba aha, gushyingirwa bikorwa ari uko mwembi mukuze.”

Abagore bagomba kwemererwa kureka ubuzima nubunararibonye bigahindura imico yabo mbere yuko binjira mubandi bantu. Tugomba guhabwa umwanya wo gushyira imbere umwuga wacu niterambere ry’umuntu, kuko uko umuntu yabivuga, gushyingirwa biragoye. Bisaba igihe, imbaraga, kwihangana, gukura n’akazi. Kandi abagore benshi bazishimira ko batezimbere kwigirira ikizere, kwiyemeza ndetse n’ubushobozi bwo gukorana n’abandi mbere y’uko binjiza ubuzima bwabo mu bw’abandi.

Nkiri mu kigero cy’imyaka 20, igihe abantu bose nari nzi bari barashatse cyangwa bari kubyitegura, nakoraga amasaha 80 mu cyumweru, nkakurikirana amasomo nshaka impamyabumenyi ebyiri za master icyarimwe, maze kubirangiza nasanze ko nkuze kandi ko nkeneye kurongora kuko niyumvagamo umubiri ushyushye kuko ntacyo nishishaga. Nishimiye ko ntashatse nkiri muto Nishimiye ko narindiriye. Kuberako muri iyo myaka makumyabiri ubwo niyumvishaga ko ikihutirwa Atari ukurongora  nabonye umwanya uhagije wo gushaka umutekano mu bukungu cyangwa mu marangamutima – nibwo umuntu ukwiye yigaragaje, kandi iherezo ryanjye ryiza ryaratangiye.”

SIGA IGITEKEREZO kuri iyi nkuru

Wifuza kwandika inkuru z’Urukundo cyangwa zitanga ubumenyi wazitwoherereza kuri vickange@gmail.com

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